<!DOCTYPE html>
<html>
<head>
<meta charset="UTF-8">
<title>Looking for orders (in all the wrong places) by KahunaBurger</title>
<style type="text/css">

body { background-color: #ffffff; }
.CI {
text-align:center;
margin-top:0px;
margin-bottom:0px;
padding:0px;
}
.center   {text-align: center;}
.cover    {text-align: center;}
.full     {width: 100%; }
.quarter  {width: 25%; }
.smcap    {font-variant: small-caps;}
.u        {text-decoration: underline;}
.bold     {font-weight: bold;}
</style>
</head>
<body>
<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25716598">Looking for orders (in all the wrong places)</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/KahunaBurger/pseuds/KahunaBurger'>KahunaBurger</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Marvel Cinematic Universe</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Canon Divergence - Post-Captain America: Civil War (Movie), Civil War Team Iron Man, Gen, Winter soldier is not a separate personailty, moderate amounts of crack</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-08-04</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-08-04</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-05 10:27:11</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,824</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25716598</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/KahunaBurger/pseuds/KahunaBurger</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Soldat requires orders, but no one seems to believe him. Mildly cracky.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>40</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>539</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Collections:</b></td><td>I Needed a Laugh Today</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Looking for orders (in all the wrong places)</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>When he realized that he still required orders, Soldat first went to the Captain. He had been a handler of sorts in Soldat's first life... well, perhaps a Commander. A leader? At the very least the one who superiors to both of them spoke to with general orders for the team. Soldat's first life had not had a solid chain of command once the Captain became involved. </p>
<p>The point was, he went to the Captain, who he was to call Steve. "I need orders, Steve." The Captain liked slightly more informal language.</p>
<p>"No you don't, Bucky." The Captain had reverted Soldat's designation to one of his first life's casual names. "You're free now, you don't need orders anymore." The Captain looked sad but determined as he gripped Soldat's flesh shoulder tightly and leaned close. "You'll never have to follow anyone's orders again; I'll make sure of it. I'm with you until the end of the line."</p>
<p>The firmness of the statement actually helped a little in the short term, but did not address any practical issues. He still required orders.</p>
<p>Since the country they were staying in was a hereditary absolute monarchy, Soldat decided that the Princess who had erased the code words from his second life and was experimenting with attaching a new arm to him was the highest authority he was able to approach. The next time she ended a maintenance session by asking if he needed anything else, he responded eagerly.</p>
<p>"Your Highness, I require orders."</p>
<p>"Hmph, the only thing I order is pizza, T'Challa's the leader of men around here." Before Soldat could ask if the King had time to give him orders, she carried on speaking. "Anyway, I fixed that broken brain of yours up, you don't need any orders anymore. You might still need therapy, but that's not my department. Ask that counselor guy you hang out with."</p>
<p>Soldat did not need therapy and did not like Wilson, but asking him was a sort of order (even if, again, it was not one that covered any practical matters) so he tried anyway. He did sneak up on him to ask, but the Captain always said he couldn't help it when Wilson complained so he knew he would not be punished.</p>
<p>"I require orders."</p>
<p>"Jesus H Christ on a cracker, stop that!" Soldat didn't like that order but it was a start. "You need… oh, hey man, Steve mentioned that you felt that way; I'm glad you feel comfortable talking to me about it. Here, sit down."</p>
<p>Two orders in a row, now they were getting somewhere. "After what you've been through, it's natural that you would feel a little institutionalized, and acknowledging it is the first step to moving past it." Or maybe not. "It can help to establish a routine, something that gives structure to your life, but that you are in control of."</p>
<p>Wilson continued on this theme for almost an hour further until Soldat was freed by the Captain declaring it dinner time. Soldat was relieved, as the implied order made eating possible. Sometimes the Captain even said, "Eat up!" as he handed over a plate, which made it comfortable.</p>
<p>There were no other good candidates in Wakanda for providing orders. The shrinking man had not returned with the others from the Captain's trip to the Raft, preferring to try to sneak back to his home. The archer was far too volatile to be an attractive handler, and Soldat's memories of the Maximov woman from his third life made him leery of her. He desperately missed the elderly woman who lived next to him in Bucharest and her daily stream of instructions. "Get some sleep, you're done in." "Eat more fruit." "You need a shower, use that new shampoo I got you."</p>
<p>Luckily it was around that time that a series of revelations led to the group moving back to the United States. Well, most of the group. Some of the revelations involved the Maximov woman, who ran away to parts unknown.</p>
<p>Once they were established in rooms at the Avengers Compound, Soldat sought out the ranking officer, Colonel Rhodes. "Sir, I require orders."</p>
<p>The Colonel looked him over with a sort of professional blankness before shaking his head. "Can't help you with that."</p>
<p>"Begging your pardon, Sir, but you are my commanding officer." The words from his first life felt most natural with this man.</p>
<p>"Not exactly. The terms of your Accords agreement place your group under my command, but any orders for you specifically have to be passed through Rogers unless it is a combat situation or other emergency. Whatever you require orders about, you'll have to go to your buddy."</p>
<p>Soldat couldn't help but scowl as he watched the Colonel walk away. What did the Captain have against the chain of command, anyway?</p>
<p>The next few weeks were frustrating. If the Colonel wouldn't give him orders, no one in his chain of command would. The Widow was around, but he had been her trainer in his second life and she might use the opportunity of giving him orders for payback. The ceiling voice could only provide information or convey orders from someone else. There was a possibly evil alien prince who seemed interested at first, but then he started asking for safe words and hard limits and Soldat realised they were talking about two different kinds of orders.</p>
<p>To make matters worse, the Captain was required to attend a variety of meetings, assessments and trainings, and was available less often to provide even his indirect and accidental orders. The only benefit was that he also had less time to hover when Soldat had maintenance sessions on his arm with Stark. </p>
<p>The Wakandan Princess was an incredible genius, according to Stark, but she had clearly tried to "reinvent the wheel" and additionally thought vibranium was the best material for any purpose. (Soldat realized this was not true as soon as he experienced sub optimal temperatures with the highly conductive metal attached to him.) </p>
<p>The two inventors had had a video call which left Stark frustrated, but strangely amused by it, and sending out extravagant presents to everyone he had known at MIT. It also ended with an agreement that Stark could make adjustments to the arm as long as he returned any replaced parts to Wakanda. </p>
<p>The maintenance sessions were pain free and steadily becoming more comfortable. Stark seemed determined to ignore the revelations from Soldat's second life that had led to the fight in Siberia, and Soldat felt no need to blame him for either the loss of his arm or the legal tangle their group still existed in.</p>
<p>He still would not have considered Stark to give him orders. Aside from having the same risk as the Widow, the Captain often claimed that Stark could barely feed himself or keep a reasonable sleep schedule. So it was not until the Captain had been gone for a week at a time and Soldat was tired, hungry and frankly frustrated, that a casual, "What's got you down, Anakin?" elicited his oft repeated phrase.</p>
<p>"I require orders."</p>
<p>"Specifically or generally?"</p>
<p>Soldat could only gape for a moment, causing Stark to look up from his arm and clarify. "Is this a thing where you need a mission to feel your life has meaning, or is there something you want to do, but can't without instructions or permission?"</p>
<p>Soldat felt an entirely irrational stinging in his eyes at the simple question. "I, er, both, but primarily the second? If I had an ongoing mission it would be easier to make necessary maintenance decisions for myself, but failing that, I need orders for individual rest and eating periods, though implied orders are sufficient."</p>
<p>Rather than looking at him with pity or telling him he really didn't need the orders, Stark just nodded and freed a hand from his work to pull up a holographic keyboard which he jotted some incomprehensible notes on.</p>
<p>"Okay, that's a thing that needs addressed… Can you disobey or question orders? Like if you just ate or are feeling sick to your stomach and someone tells you to eat, can you say no, or at least explain why you don't want to?"</p>
<p>"I can ignore orders from those who do not hold any authority over me and question them unless that has been specifically forbidden by a top level authority, which would be Colonel Rhodes in this situation."</p>
<p>"Yeah, no, Rhodeybear hates yes men, so that won't be a problem." He made a few more notes while closing up the arm one handed, and then gave Soldat his direct, fully engaged, attention for possibly the first time since he moved into the compound. It was, to be honest, a little intimidating.</p>
<p>"This will probably become a major Thing when you finally get your psych eval, which I am going to hypocritically recommend you be as open and honest during as possible. But for now…</p>
<p>"As a preliminary signatory to the Accords, you have accepted the long term mission of protecting the Earth and its people from extraterrestrial and supranational threats. In the short term, your orders are to prepare yourself to serve in that capacity, by maintaining and training your body, educating yourself on the current world situation and possible threats, and by taking whatever steps you are comfortable with to improve your psychological stability. Do you understand and accept these orders?"</p>
<p>Soldat nodded mutely, feeling like he was almost floating with the relief of the firmly stated objectives.</p>
<p>"We're going to talk more when I don't have multiple meetings and deadlines bearing down on me, but in the meantime, I'm updating the same protocol that Friday has for giving me self care reminders for your metabolic needs. When she informs you that you are due for food or rest, you are to take that as an order from me, understood?"</p>
<p>This time, Soldat managed to croak out a, "Yes sir," along with his nod.</p>
<p>"Okay, no with the Sir, I'm not in your chain of command, and I want you to remember that - if you don't like the orders I give, either directly or through Friday, you can tell me to screw myself."</p>
<p>A small smile found its way onto Soldat's face. "I would prefer to just question the specific orders."</p>
<p>"Yeah, that works too. Okay, later Slot Machine!" </p>
<p>Stark shut down his workstation and swept out in his usual hurry. Soldat followed behind him more slowly, still a little overwhelmed with the paradoxical freedom he felt from the new boundaries to his life. He had a mission, which required bodily maintenance, and a handler who would instruct him in the details of it. Life was good.</p>
<p>Though it might turn out he needed therapy after all. That would be annoying, but he supposed he could deal with it. Especially if Friday ordered him to eat beforehand. No one liked hangry therapy.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>This was supposed to be a quick 5+1 sort of thing about poor Soldat just needing someone to tell him when to eat and everyone trying to make him feel better instead until he finally asks Tony. The idea grew out of various "character compelled to obey" type fics and my absolute belief that Tony would be the best person to help with such a situation, because he's a programmer and has raised multiple learning AIs. Unfortunately, it kept digressing on me. Oh well.</p>
<p>Soldat thinks of himself that way because Zemo's use of the trigger words brought the memories of that time in his life to the surface, and they are now clearest in his mind. If it's unclear, his first life was "Bucky" Barnes prior to his fall from the train, his second was as the Winter Soldier for the Red Room/KGB branch of Hydra, his third as the Asset for SHIELDRA, and he's living his fourth now.</p>
<p>Anon commenting is disabled to avoid trolls, sorry for any legit commenters this inconveniences.</p></blockquote></div></div>
</body>
</html>